This is an article I originally wrote for the March 2010 edition of the Crossings newsletter.
"Pieces"
Nothing is so broken that God can’t fix it. A person is never so broken that she can’t be fixed. I am not too broken for God. You are not too broken.
I think sometimes we think that we’ve just messed up too much, told God we could handle it one too many times, or pushed God too far away. I know I’ve found myself there. I may not verbalize it, but my actions and my thoughts speak loud enough – “God, I just don’t think you’re big enough to fix me this time. I’ll handle this myself.” And I fail every single time.
Sometimes we’re broken because of our own choices, sometimes because of the choices of others. Whatever the reason, God calls us to run to him with our broken pieces. David was broken because of his sin. Paul was broken because of his past. Esther was broken because of the loss of her family. And God healed and used each of them. He took their brokenness – their cracks, their scars, their flaws, their heartaches – and made something beautiful. David is remembered as a man after God’s own heart. Paul wrote a great deal of the New Testament, and Esther saved a nation. Each differently broken, each differently used, and each lifted up and put together by the safe, strong hands of the Father.
It’s so easy to hold on to our broken past – our broken pieces – but when we do, we inevitably dig those pieces of sharp-edged heartache deeper and deeper into our palms until we bleed. And God lets us. He will let us be as stubborn as we want, but he’s ready to take the pieces out of our hands when we’re ready to surrender. He puts them together and makes something beautiful again – he “turns our messes into ministry.”
For me, surrendering the broken parts hasn’t been a one-time deal. I have to weekly, daily, sometimes hourly, make the choice to let go and let God be in control. I have scars on my hands from the broken pieces and from the heartache that has come because of my own unwillingness to let go. Of course the past forms us – of course our scars become a part of us and of course we can’t just pretend life doesn’t happen. But even those scars, the ugly parts of life, can be made into something beautiful – God is big enough to handle our brokenness. We just have to let go.
“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; He rescues those whose spirits are crushed.” Psalm 34:18
This is me..simply..i have been broken by many of my own choices..and i just need to give up all..all those pieces to God.. it's easy to give up some, but there are others that we want to hold onto..i dont know why.. i dont know if it is because we think it defines us or if we let it go he wont take it because its so aweful or big or small that he simply doesnt have the time.. however then i am remembered by Matthew 11:28 "come to me all who are weary and carry a heavy burden, take my yoke upon you and learn from me. for i am gentle and humble in spirit and you will find rest for your soul."..LORD..please let me give you the last pieces..the ones i haven't let go of.. the ones that still make me bleed..the ones that for whatever reason are put in my path to cause me not to have that complete intimate relationship with you.. i desperately..desperately desire that..with all of my heart...todo mi corazon!!!
ReplyDeleteI think sometimes the reason it can be so difficult to give up the broken pieces is that we're afraid. Giving up control - letting go of the pieces that have defined us, whether we agree with the definition or not - is really difficult. When I allow God to define me, I am forced to come to terms with realities that are hard to or I don't want to believe: that I am powerless, that I am broken, and that maybe, just maybe, I am loved. Yes - God's love is bigger than my mistakes and brokenness. In a world that says I have to earn love - that says my brokenness defines me and that I am unworthy - God says he doesn't see a human defined by brokenness. He sees his child.
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